Sunday, August 16, 2009

Rock Star


I cannot begin to imagine what the last twelve months were like with me away. This year has tested you beyond what you ever expected. I never realized, and never will, the weight that you had to carry nor the sacrifices you made for this family when I left last August.

Being the soldier in this relationship is easy. I pack up and go off and leave everything behind with the expectation that it will be there when I return. That’s a lot to expect from your partner. I get to bury myself in work, my Soldiers, and the day to day routine of living on a FOB while you are left with running the house and doing the work of both of us. There is no void here where you used to be. I can sleep in a bed, or on a cot, on the floor without having to roll over and miss you in our bed. I share meals without you and I have food prepared for me when for so long it was me doing the cooking for us. An entire year of not having to mow, shovel, or take out the garbage – but all of those things got done anyway.

You have been both parents to TJ – all boy – playing with boys toys and dealing with “the terrible twos”. That’s dozens of times watching “Cars”, hundreds of diapers, and a few, “wait ‘til your daddy gets home!” statements. My home coming was supposed to be different, wasn’t it? We should have our daughter, and you and the kids would have welcomed me at the airport. I’d spend the next few weeks at home trying to get her to recognize me, maybe even get a first smile. My brief time home in February wasn’t enough to mend that hurt.

I cannot imagine the worry you went through. Even though Iraq is much safer than 2005 it is still a dangerous place and every CNN announcement of more US forces wounded or killed must have made you tense up just a bit. The role of the military spouse is always underestimated.

I can spend a long time trying to understand the stress, pain, and long days alone that you went through but I’d fail. Thank you for being my wife and the center of the universe when I needed it. Words elude me except to say; I love you.

Cue the music; take the spotlight, all the applause is for you. You are a Rock Star.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

awww, thanks dear. I thank you for your love and support across the miles. Now come on home, your family is waiting!